"If we wait until we are ready, we will be waiting our whole lives."

           I know I said that I probably wouldn't post until I was in Turkey, but I've thought of more to say and I felt like blogging. Today is my last day in Albuquerque and it still doesn't seem real. I keep saying how I still don't believe that I am actually leaving for a year because I just cannot comprehend being gone for that long. I leave bright and early tomorrow morning ( 6 AM! Way too early!) and will be in New York with my fellow AFSers by this time tomorrow. I've spent the last few days running errands and picking up the last few things I need before I go. I picked out the clothes I want to bring and I have finally started putting them into my suitcases. I've come to realize just how hard keeping bags under strict weight limits is and I've really had to consider what I really want for the next year.
          Aside from the packing that has caused me enormous amounts of stress, I have had an awesome last few days in Albuquerque. I went for a run with one of my closest friends on Friday morning and she agreed to go with me to find the last of my host family gifts afterwards. We went to Old Town, the city center from hundreds of years ago even before New Mexico was a state which is now home to lots of tourists shops and cute traditional adobe buildings, to try and find a few more things and ended up staying for several hours wandering around the plaza and pretending to be tourists. We would race to see who could find Breaking Bad merchandise first in each store (literally the easiest game ever since it is everywhere). We walked through virtually every shop in the whole area looking at the beautiful Native American jewelry and laughing about the hilarious tourist gifts we found. We sat in the center of the plaza and talked and it made me realize just how much I love Albuquerque and New Mexico and how much I will miss my home while I am in Turkey. Later Friday night, my family went to the pool and enjoyed one last Friday night dinner there.

The San Felipe de Neri Church in Old Town. This church has been around for over 300 years and is absolutely beautiful.

I'm not really sure why this photo ended up so tilted but it's not actually like that. This is the center of Old Town where me and my friend sat and talked.

          I don't remember much from Saturday and Sunday except that I ran several errands and created quite the mess in my room trying to pack.

Part of my extremely messy room as I was starting to pack. Most of the worst parts aren't shown here but it is truly horrifying.

           Yesterday, almost all of my friends were able to come over and we were able to have a going away party by going to the pool and hanging out there for several hours. Saying my goodbyes to my friends was an incredibly difficult thing for me to do because they have supported me through everything and soon I will be over 6,000 miles from them, but I know they will still be here when I come home so I've managed to keep from getting too sad.
          This morning, we sent my oldest sister back to college and so I had to tell her goodbye until June too. It was incredibly hard but I know she supports me no matter where I am and I will see her soon.

Me and Lauren this morning.

          I am almost completely packed now and have somehow managed to keep all my bags under the weight limits so far. With my departure looming so close now, I constantly question whether I am ready for this. But I have realized that there is no way for me to ever be completely ready to leave my home when I am still a teenager, but that I am as ready as I am ever going to be. Part of the fun and challenge of an exchange is not being ready and doing it anyway. I found a quote sometime this summer that has kept me calm realizing that it's okay for me to not be ready. It says, "If we wait until we are ready, we will be waiting our whole lives." There is no way that I will ever be ready for this, so I might as well go now. Even though I am terrified, I've realized that that is okay. I know that this is going to be an amazing experience and I can't wait to get started. The next time I write, it will be from Turkey. Thank you for following this amazing journey of mine!