Lots of Rain, A Few Trips to Izmir, and a Turkey!

          In the weeks since I last posted about my day to day life, a lot has gone on, so I will try and hit the highlights in this post. 

          From October 30th-November 14th, my classmates had an exam everyday. I did not have to take any of these exams except for English, so me and the other exchange student at my school would usually hang out in the cafeteria and talk or I would study Turkish when she took her exam. My English exam was very easy for me, but as I kept reminding my classmates, "Ingilizce konuşuyorum" ( I speak English). I got a 96 on it although the questions I got wrong were technically right as well, so I should have gotten a 100, but I really didn't care enough to bring it up to my teacher. Some things that I've found that are very different about exams here compared to in the US is that the exams are very short ( just one page front and back. My classmates were horrified when I told them my biology exam last year was 26 pages.) and grades are not at all private here. In the US, usually people share their grades but if you don't want to, you don't have to. Here, the teachers read out what everyone got on their test to the entire class so no matter how you did, everyone will know about it, which was very surprising for me. 

          I've been told that winters here are mild but rainy and I am beginning to see the truth to that. It has rained several times in the last couple of weeks. Being from New Mexico, I was overjoyed at getting to watch and walk through lots of rain. That is, until I stepped in a giant puddle and soaked my shoes completely. But I still love the rain. I've finally been given a reason to break out my super cute umbrella and I am loving it. It was raining so hard on Thursday, that we could not cross the street on our way to school because the water was too deep, so we had to call my host father to come pick us up and drive us to school. The entrance to the school garden also had about a foot of water in it that many students had to wade through to get into school. 

          Last Friday, the 14th, my class had a little Welcome/yay, you are still here party for me. Everyone brought food and we just ate and hung out which was lots of fun. Most people ended up bringing cake, but it was really delicious, so I was ok with it. I also just felt very happy and content that day and I am so grateful to my class for taking me into their little family.  

My classmates enjoying the food at the party. 

          Last Saturday, the 15th, I went up to Izmir where we met up with the AFS kids in Izmir and many of their families. We had brunch and then we had more orientation, which none of us were aware was going to happen. We also celebrated various people's birthdays and I got to talk to some people I haven't seen since Istanbul which was great fun. 

The sunset from our brunch/orientation site in Izmir. 

Brenna and Leah with their birthday cakes. 

          Yesterday, we again went to Izmir, this time to go olive picking. The group from Aydin ended up being a bit late because of some transportation issues, but we were there in time to help with all the picking and get some really delicious food. We all went around picking the olives up off the ground first and then setting up tarps under them and shaking/pulling/using comb-like things to get the other olives off. Between all of us there, we cleared nearly all the trees and filled up many large bags full of olives. I worked with one of the exchange students from Belgium and had a wonderful time talking with her about exchange and lots of other things. I also learned how to count in Flemish, although I only remember 1, 7, and 10 now. After we finished picking, some of the people were spending the night in Izmir, so I ended up taking the train home by myself. I was very proud of myself for figuring out which ones to take and which stops to get off at, so that I got home with no problem. I also had a realization while on my way home of how much being here has already changed me. I just realized that I was alone navigating the train and bus system in a language I don't really know, when last year, I probably wouldn't have even been comfortable taking the train to Santa Fe by myself. Being here has made me so much more confident and independent, and I really love that.

Me under my first olive tree getting the olives off the ground. 

All of the olives we combed off a tree before we put them in one of the big bags. 

All of us there for olive picking. 

          I also started Turkish lessons which are desperately needed and therefore greatly appreciated. Things here are slowly becoming normal. Now that I know when our Turkish classes are, I am going to try to set up volunteering for myself twice a week so that I will no longer just be sitting at home after school.

My birthday present for Leah. Due to my lack of any way to wrap it, I tried to tie a bow in the top and called it a win. 

I made friends with a dog. You can see the love in our expressions. 

I found a turkey in Turkey. 

A pretty sunset one night this week. 

          As always, thanks for reading. Have a great wherever you may be. Hoşçakal!

 

What Goes Up Must Come Down

In honor of my third month here, which passed last Friday, here is the story of something that has been a driving force for me for years now. I accidentally published this a few weeks ago before it was finished, but it is now better and has some pictures. Please enjoy!

          I still have vivid memories of my mom telling me and my sisters that what goes up must come down when we were first learning to ride our bikes. We would get to the top of hills, but then decide we were too scared to go down it, but mom would always remind us that there was no other option. Whether we continued forward or turned around, we were still going to have to go down the hill. And after many bike rides of hearing this, I wasn't scared of the hills anymore. 

          When I joined the cross country team my freshman year, I had no clue what I was getting into. After the great puking incident of my first ever race (on a flat golf course no less), I found myself scared of the hills again, but for a new reason. I thought that there was no way I could run a course with hills if I couldn't even run a flat course. I quickly found myself in the opposite position of when I was a little girl, scared of going up the hill instead of down, but in the same situation. Now, there is a particularly notorious course in New Mexico that I had heard story after story about, all of them somewhere along the lines of, "This course is the hardest thing I've ever done and I thought I was going to die the whole time". For the already terrified of racing freshman Kathryn, these stories were not helping to ease my fears. I knew of the 3 enormous hills that would soon be coming my way and I was absolutely horrified at the thought of having to run them. But as we stood on the starting line, my sister and the other junior just kept reminding us freshman that what goes up must come down. If we could make it up those giant hills, we would be rewarded with a downhill. And as I faced those hills, I repeated that to myself over and over. What goes up most come down. I just had to get up, and then I could go down again. And it was horrible and painful and everything that I had imagined it would be. But I survived it. Everytime I made it to the top of a new hill, I was always gifted a downhill. And I made it through the race. 

          Since that day, this has become a rallying phrase for me. Whenever things got hard, I just reminded myself that if it was hard now, I would undoubtedly be rewarded with an easy time soon. It kept me sane knowing that things wouldn't be hard forever. And it has been no different for my time here in Turkey. Whenever things are really hard, whether it's my endless struggle with the language, homesickness, or just feeling uncomfortable all the time, I remind myself that I'm fighting my way up the hill right now, but soon, I'm going to get that downhill. While I can barely speak right now, soon I will be rewarded with being able to comfortably have conversations with anyone and everyone. When I'm homesick, I remind myself that in a few months, the thought of leaving here will make me unspeakably sad. When I feel incredibly awkward and like I am just taking up space here, I tell myself that before long, I will have a place in this community and will no longer feel like this. What goes up must come down. Things are going to get easier. 

          The night before I left Albuquerque, my best friend Keely handed me an envelope and told me to read it on the plane. But I couldn't bring myself to read it on the flight for fear of getting too emotional and I didn't end up reading it until I got to Aydin. The last line in that letter says simply, "Kathryn, just remember that what goes up must come down." And when I read that letter the first time, I needed that reminder. And throughout the time I have been here, I have needed to remind myself of that over and over again. And when I do, things always look a little better to me. So for everyone, whether you are at home or are a fellow exchange student, if you are reading this, just remember that your downhill is coming. You just need to fight to the top of this hill. What goes up must come down. 

For the Love of Atatürk

          Before I came to Turkey, I was told that Turkish people really love Atatürk and that I should be careful what I say about him. But nothing anyone told me can compare to how it actually is. In my experience, Turks all but worship Atatürk. The love that they have for him is impossible to be described and really has to be seen to be understood, but I will try my best. 

          In the front of every classroom, a framed photo of Atatürk hangs on the wall. A picture of him and a quote graces the front of every school textbook. In the courtyard of every school, there is a statue of him next to the flag. About half the Turkish flags I see hanging on buildings around town have his face on them as well (and some of them are just his face). His signature, in bumper sticker form, is on the vast majority of cars I see driving around and a disturbing number of Turkish youth have it tattooed somewhere on their body. People are horrified when I tell them that we don't learn about Atatürk in our history classes in the US and that I had never heard of him before I started researching Turkey. 

          Since I'm guessing most of you have no idea who Atatürk is, I will tell you what I know. Atatürk is considered by the Turks to be the founder of modern Turkey (Atatürk literally translates to father of the Turks). He was an officer in the Turkish army during World War I and the Turkish Independence wars and was instrumental in the Turks gaining their independence. After establishing their independence, Atatürk began to make reforms to the country in an effort to make it into a modern country. He switched the alphabet from Arabic script to the Latin alphabet, declared Turkey a secular country, and changed the system of government. His belief was that in order for Turkey to become a modern country, they needed to become more Western, both politically and culturally. Atatürk was the first president and prime minister of Turkey and eventually passed away on November 10, 1938. 

          This past Monday was November 10, so I figured there would be some mention of his death but I was not expecting what actually went on. Starting Sunday night, there were commercials of his picture and dates of his life with various quotes and sad music. On Monday, I arrived at school at the same time as one of the school buses and I couldn't figure out why everyone getting off the bus was carrying flowers. I wondered what memo I had missed this time but quickly figured out when everyone put the flowers on his statue/shrine in the courtyard at school. Then, after our first class, we all went back to the courtyard and got to stand in lines for over an hour while a ceremony commemorating his death ensued. For the American who doesn't understand Turkish, this was a little bit boring because most of it was speeches about everything he did and his life. The few things I was able to pick out made me want to laugh (like one kids impassioned "Ben Mustafa Kemal Atatürk" meaning "I am Mustafa Kemal Atatürk) but that would have gotten me a lot of dirty looks. There was also the singing of many songs about Atatürk and a very strange experience when everyone started simultaneously yelling things about Atatürk after the national anthem and I was left awkwardly standing there very confused. It was a very interesting experience to see just how much these people love Atatürk and my classmates were happy because they had their history exam that day and were saying how listening to the speeches was just like studying. 

          Even though it has been more than 75 years since he died, I still hear his name nearly every day (granted my history class is just the history of Atatürk, but still). People here love him for all the things he did for their country and I don't think that they will ever stop loving him the way they do now. 

A terrible photo, but this is what all the flags with Atatürk's face on them look like. You can see these all over the place. 

The shrine thing in my school courtyard decorated with all the flowers people brought. 

The flags hanging on my school for November 10. 

I hope this gave you a little insight into the intense love of Atatürk in Turkey, whether or not you wanted it. As always thanks for reading! I hope you have a good week wherever you are! Hoşçakal!

 

Two Months!

          As of last Wednesday, I have now been in this country for two months. I don't really know how to describe how that realization makes me feel. In so many ways, it feels like yesterday that I got on that plane in Albuquerque and began the long journey to my new life. But in so many other ways, it feels like I have been here so much longer. And realizing that 20% of my exchange year is gone is strange and saddening. 

          In some ways, I thought that I would have it all figured out by now. I figured I would have friends who I felt really comfortable with by now. I thought I would be confident finding my way all around this city and that I would go out all the time. I thought I would be able to communicate easily in Turkish. I thought I would have run out of "firsts" by now. But none of that is true. Although I have friends, I'm not super close with any of them and I'm not entirely comfortable when I'm with them. I've gone out some, but I still haven't seen very much of the lovely city I now call home. Far from being confident in my Turkish abilities, I usually don't even feel comfortable in simple conversations. 

          But in many ways, I'm glad that the things I thought would have happened by now, haven't happened. I've realized that I never want to run it of firsts this year. I've already had so many firsts. The first time I heard the call to prayer in my new city, the first time I walked into my class, the first time I took a Turkish bus, the first time I went out by myself. And I know that all of those things that I haven't done yet are going to lead to many more firsts in the next couple of months. The first time I feel completely comfortable with my new friends, the first time I go to a new place I found somewhere in the city, the first time I have a conversation in Turkish where I don't have to think ridiculously hard to be able to come up with responses. I can't wait for these firsts and the many more that I'm sure I will have in the next 8 months that I am here. 

          And though I haven't done many of the things I thought I would have by now, I have gotten to do and see some truly amazing things. I've swum in the Meditteranean and the Aegean seas, I've gotten to experience a traditional Kurban Bayramı, I've gotten to visit Cappadocia and see some insanely beautiful things, I've gotten to see how another family lives, I've gotten to find a new family in the other exchange students here with me. I've seen and done so many things that I never dreamed I would ever do in just two months here and I can't wait to see all the amazing things that the rest of this year will bring.

          I've loved the sunset for as long as I can remember. Although I love the sunsets I see every time my family is in Florida, the sunsets in Albuquerque, with their vivid colors and beautiful clouds, will always be my favorites. Often, I look at the sunsets here and they remind me so much of the ones at home. If I look just at  the sunset, it's almost like I'm home again. And while sometimes a sunset can be sad, marking the end of another day and the steady passing of time, I love them for making the ending of the day just as beautiful as the rest of the day. 

          As always, thank you so much for reading my random thoughts and ramblings. I hope everyone has a good week this week. Hoşçakal!

"You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be."

          I'm just going to use this blog post as an update of what I've been up to for the last 2 weeks, since I haven't actually posted about regular life in awhile now. 

          The week of October 19th-26th, the week after I returned from my week of orientation, was a really, really tough time for me. It was definetely the worst week I've had since I've been here for a lot of different reasons. It was just a regular week of school, although it was actually my first full week of school since I started school over a month ago. That Wednesday, we went to the university here in Aydin to visit with some professors who our liason is friends with. We met several different professors and got to see a lot of the campus while we were there, and we also got to meet with the staff in the international office there which was very nice. That weekend, I attended a wedding which was very fun and you can read all about that in my last post. As far as why it was a bad week, there were just a lot of things that piled up and made things less than great. Between feeling really sick the entire week, missing the other exchange students and the easiness of our orientation week, being very frustrated with my language skills, and just plain missing my friends and family, it was a rough week. It was the first time that I have seriously wanted to go home since I arrived here. But this week has been much better and all thoughts of going home and of homesickness have disappeared. 

A really beautiful sunset one night. I've always loved sunsets and the ones I've seen here have not disappointed with their beauty. 

          This week was much better than last week. On Monday, the other exchange students in Aydin and I visited a private school just outside of Aydin and a new school having its opening on the outskirts of Aydin after school. I really enjoyed talking to various people at both schools and getting to tell them a little bit about my experience so far and exchange programs in general. After both visits, we went out to dinner and discussed how things have been so far and any issues we have had. Tuesday was only a half day of school because Wednesday was Republic Day, so I spent the afternoon relaxing and napping. Wednesday was Republic Day so we didn't have school at all so I mostly spent the day around the house although I did go to a cafe for a bit with my sisters. Republic Day is basically the Turkish version of 4th of July, except it is much more focused on Atatürk and the fact that he made Turkey a republic than 4th of July is. I plan to write a more detailed post about Atatürk and Republic Day soon but I will say that there were Turkish flags everywhere. Giant flags hung over almost every street and on every government buildings, including every school. Nearly every person had a flag hanging off their balcony and they hung outside almost every store as well. Thursday and Friday were just regular school days, although exams have started for all my classmates so I now get one class free every day while they take those. One great thing this week was I felt as if I had finally made a small breakthrough with the language. I still can't handle group situations with more than one person talking at a time, but if it is a one-on-one conversation, I can usually get the drift of what they are saying and respond well enough that they can understand me. Even though I am far from being comfortable speaking or even somewhat proficient in this language, even a small improvement like this is a cause for celebration for me. And my small progress in the language is where the quote from the title comes into play. Even though I am still far from being where I want to be, I have come so far since I arrived in this country. I have to remind myself of this sometimes to keep from getting too down on myself. I'm proud of the progress I have made in the short time I've been here, and I hope that by the time I leave this country, I will be where I want to be, but for now, I'm just happy not being where I was when I arrived. 

           Not being in the US for Halloween was stranger than I thought it would be purely because I knew it was Halloween but I certainly wouldn't know looking around. In the US, I can always know that I will see people dressed up everywhere and that there will be no shortage of candy. But Halloween isn't really celebrated here, so I didn't see any of that like normal. I did go to Leah's (one of the other exchange students here) house on Friday afternoon to try and fix my computer and Priya (another exchange student here) came over also , so we had a Halloween "party" together. And by that I mean we ate bread with peanut butter and chocolate, listened to music, and talked, but I still had a great time and enjoyed my Halloween. However, Halloween kicked off the holiday season, which almost every exchange student says is the hardest part of the year. I know that I will make it through it, but I have no doubt that it won't be easy. 

There were giant flags like this over most streets and on most big buildings. 

One of the apartment buildings across the street from mine, covered with Turkish flags for Republic Day. 

A dessert that one of our neighbors brought to us this morning. Apparently it is a small Muslim holiday today during which you make this dessert and take it to all your neighbors. It was delicious, so I have no complaints. 

The Cokes here also have different names on them, but all the names are in Turkish, which I love. This was my Coke from lunch one day this week. 

I found tortillas at the store today. They look a little wierd, but I might just have to pick some up and make my family quesadillas sometime. 

A brief list of other things that have happened that I didn't already mention:

- I've realized that not being very good at the language can come in handy in awkward situations. We had the election for school president last week and when the girl I didn't vote for asked if I voted for her, I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I just said I didn't understand what she had asked, even though I did. 

- Being an exchange student, you get asked some pretty strange questions. This week, one of my classmates came over and asked, "Have you done squats?" And that was it. I couldn't figure out whether she meant recently or ever or what, so I just said yes. 

- At the cafe I went to on Republic Day, there was a Tex Mex section of the menus that had enchiladas and quesadillas. I didn't try it because I figured Mexican food in Turkey probably is pretty sketchy, but I was just excited to find some. Plus, hearing my sister say, "Tex Mex ne demek?" (What does Tex Mex mean?) and having to try and explain it was pretty funny. 

- People here are hilarious about the cold. Despite the fact that it still gets into the 70s almost every afternoon, people have started wearing full on parkas with gloves and boots. I thought New Mexicans were wimps about the weather, but we are nothing compared to this. 

- My blog went over 1,000 views this week. It still amazes me that anyone wants to read my rambling and I want to thank everyone who does. I love that people at home are getting to hear about my crazy adventure through this blog. 

That's all I can think of for now! As always, thanks for reading! Have a wonderful week wherever you are! Hoşçakal!