Nevruz Kutlu Olsun and Other March Happenings

          March has brought many wonderful things to my life here, including some warmer weather which always makes me happy. I'm going to use this post to recap my month. Here we go. 

           I went on a ski trip to Uludağ with most of the other YES and NSLIY students. It was a very fast trip with us leaving Izmir Saturday night and returning late Sunday night after skiing all day Sunday. The weather was nice, although it was impossible to see at the top of one of the mountains because of very low clouds. Priya and I spent the day together and enjoyed talking to people who were on the lifts with us. Everyone was very interesting in why we were in Turkey and were very impressed that we spoke Turkish. We even made some friends who showed us how to get to the longest run in the mountain and stayed with us for a few runs. We also all loved getting to talk to the other people on the bus there and back. One of my favorite memories from the whole weekend was one of the guys we were talking to saying how we had changed his idea of what Americans are like. He said that before he met us he thought that Americans were always just thinking about themselves and never smiled but that after meeting us he knew that wasn't true. It made me so happy to know that I was able to change someone's idea of what Americans are like. 

We were driving down the mountain as the sun was setting and all the clouds were in the valley below us. The photo doesn't do it justice, but it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. 

           I officially became a Fenerbahçe fan when there was a Fenerbahçe vs. Galatasary soccer match. For those who don't know about the Turkish futbol scene (which I'm guessing is everyone), there are three big teams here: Galatasaray, Fenerbahçe, and Beşiktaş. The rivalries between these three teams is very serious, so whenever games between any of the teams happen, things get heated between the fans. My host dad is a Fenerbahçe fan and invited some of his friends (Galatasaray fans) and we got to watch the game. Fenerbahçe won so my host dad and I were both extremely happy and getting to see the extreme love for your soccer team in action was lots of fun for me. 

          My host family went on a day trip to a little coastal town right on the Aegean. Their bazaar was in full swing and everywhere you went people offered you bites of the food they were selling. I got to try some absolutely delicious foods and loved feeling so apart of the Turkish culture while I was there. 

          During this month was the first time that I have felt fairly comfortable speaking Turkish since I came here which was wonderful. I am finally able to understand most conversations and express myself on a variety of subjects. The joy that it brings me to be able to really connect with people and share more about my life and America is indescribable and I really feel that I am able to deepen my understanding of this culture now that I understand more. 

          I have continued to volunteer at the day home for older people every week. I love going there and hearing the stories of how Turkey used to be and how life used to be when they were my age. It's also so nice to be able to help out and brighten their days, while also brightening mine. 

          We commemorated the 100 year anniversary of the Battle of Çanakkale, during which the Turkish troops defeated the British. That battle was a very big deal for the Turks and was when Atatürk first began his rise to power. In remembrance, a presentation about the battles was given by students of my school. I loved watching the presentation and realizing how much history this country has been home to and I now get to see. 

          We celebrated the beginning of Spring, known as Nevruz here. We celebrated with different games in the shook garden, music, and some relaxing. It was fun to see everyone playin the games and I even got to play a game of Tug of War with the other 11th graders. 

I had a wonderful March and I'm so excited to see what April will bring. Thanks for reading! Have a good week!

What I've Learned About Living in the Moment

          I will be the first to admit that I am terrible at living in the moment. I love to reminisce about my favorite memories from when I was a kid and all the fun times I've had at Prep and with my friends. And I love to dream about the future and all the adventures it's going to bring me. And there isn't anything wrong with remembering the past and dreaming of the future. The past is there for me to look back on and remember how great things have been when things are hard and the future is there for me to imagine all the crazy things I will get to do.
          But there comes a certain time when remembering and dreaming gets in the way of living. I think many times when I was in the US, I spent so much time thinking of different times that I forgot to really live in my present and I probably missed some really great things because of that. So when I came here, I told myself that I was going to live fully and completely in the present. I understood how short a time I would get to live here and so I knew that I didn't want to miss a minute of it thinking of things that are no longer here.
           Saying that was one thing. Doing it was completely different. Because when you are away from your family and your friends and your home for this long, sometimes you need to escape to a different time to escape how hard the one you are in is. Sometimes the only thing that could make me feel better was dreaming about being home again after my year was over or remembering all those days spent laughing with my friends at home. I sometimes needed to escape the present for just a few minutes so I could come back and live in it again.
           And now that I've been here for so many months, I still haven't mastered the art of staying fully here all the time. But I've gotten better. Because I don't want to miss that moment when I'm laughing during a Backgammon game with a friend. I don't want to miss that beautiful sunset. I don't want to miss all the Turkish flying around me. I don't want to miss that moment when I'm dancing with the other students during dinner on our trip. I don't want to miss all these moments of complete and utter happiness.
           I only have 3 1/2 months left living here. 3 1/2 months of memories waiting to happen, of happiness waiting for me to enjoy it. But at the end of those months, I'm going to go back to the US and I'm going to make myself live in the present there too. Because good memories and happiness are everywhere and I will find wonderful moments there just like I have here. And I don't want to miss those either.
            So for now, I'm still working on staying present, but I've learned just how important it is while I've been here. If you spend all of your present living in the past and dreaming about the future, you aren't going to have anything to remember later. Here's to another 3 1/2 months in this wonderful life I've been given and another 3 1/2 months of happiness.

I'm so glad that I spend more time living the life I'm in right now because I would never want to have missed these moments. 

What I've Learned About Family

            The first thing that pops into my head when I think of family is naturally my sisters and parents. And then shortly after that, my many, many aunts, uncles, and cousins, and my grandmother and grandfather. Between both of my parents having multiple siblings with kids, some of whom now have their own kids, my family is pretty big. And I love it that way. Because I have baby cousins to play with and older cousins who give me their old clothes and I always know that there are so many people out there rooting for me. As I consider different colleges I may attend, I’ve realized that in most of the US, I would be relatively close to some of my family, and I’m really lucky for that.

                But all those people aren’t the only ones that I consider to be my family. My summer and high school swim team, my cross country team, the girls who I did ballet with, the distance runners on the track team, my friends at school. I consider every single one of those people another family to me. I have so many memories with each of those groups, and I spent so much time with each of them, that they feel like a family to me.

                And the 6 people who accompanied me here, and who have been by my side for this entire crazy adventure are as much a family to me as any of those other groups. Because they are the ones who have seen me at my worst and laughed with me at my happiest. They are the ones who I complain to and I am the one they gripe to. They understand this adventure I am on because they are on one a lot like it. And I am so incredibly thankful for the little family I have found in them.

                And of course, I have a new family in my host family here. These people who decided they wanted to let me take up room in their house and eat their food before they had ever met me will always be my second family. They’ve taken care of me when I’ve been sick, helped me learn Turkish, laughed with me when I’ve done something hilarious yet again, taken me to so many incredible places in this country, and most importantly, taken me in as one of their sisters and daughters. I came to their house six months ago today, and in that time, this apartment and this family have become home to me, and I will never stop being grateful for that.

                I’ve learned that family doesn’t necessarily have to be the people who are related to you by blood, but are always the people who love you, even in your not so nice moments. I am so lucky to have so many different families and I am thankful to each of them for supporting me and for teaching me different things. And I am so thankful to Turkey for giving me two new families; my host family and the other exchange students here. 

My lovely cross country family. 

My exchange family. 

And my real family. 

What I've Learned About Bravery

          Whenever I told people that I was going to study abroad at home, they would always tell me how brave I was. And I never understood that. I didn’t feel like what I was doing was brave; it was just different. They would say, “I could never be that brave.” And all I could think was that anyone can do what I’m doing if they wanted to.

                When I think of bravery, I think of the soldiers who fight wars for us knowing that they could be killed at any moment. I think of kidnapped children finding a way to escape. I think of families who walk hundreds of miles to escape oppressive governments. I even think of people who jump off cliffs into the ocean as being brave. But I never thought of myself as brave. I wasn’t putting my life at risk; I wasn’t in a dangerous situation. But now that I’m here, I realize that I was brave to do this. Living in the US was like standing at the edge of that cliff forever, and when I got on that plane to fly to Turkey, I jumped off the cliff. But the difference was that I didn’t know what was waiting for me at the bottom. I didn’t know whether there would be friendly people and beautiful views or a hellhole that I would have to live in. I jumped off that cliff knowing that what was waiting for me at the bottom might not be very nice, but I still jumped.

                I went to Prep for 5 years before I came to Turkey. And at least twice a week at Prep, we would have assemblies. Never once, in 5 years worth of assemblies, did I speak to the school. I stood up there a few times while other people talked, but I was always too scared to address the whole school by myself. In October, after less than 2 weeks of school in Turkey, I made a short speech to the entire student body and all the teachers in Turkish. I barely knew any Turkish but I did it anyways. 5 years and I couldn’t make an announcement in my native language, and 2 weeks go by and I had made one in Turkish. I realized during that that choosing to go on exchange isn’t brave in and of itself. But being on exchange makes you brave. You talk to the mean girls even when they laugh at the way you talk and you don’t let it bother you. You try to answer questions even when you have no idea what they asked. You get up in front of the entire school and introduce yourself in Turkish. When everything has already changed so much around you, you have no choice but to be brave. Even if you are scared to speak because everyone laughs when you do, you still have to or you will never learn. And that is true bravery.

                For my birthday last year, my grandfather gave me a ring that said courage on it. I immediately fell in love with it, because with my departure looming on the horizons and nerves sneaking in, I sometimes needed a little reminder to be brave. I wore it almost every day for the whole summer and whenever I would get nervous, I would look down and see “courage” written on it and it was the reminder I needed to be brave. And when I got on the plane to leave home, it was on my finger, there for me to look at when I needed a reassurance. And when I got up in front of my whole school to stumble along in my introduction, it was there.

                But I don’t have to wear it anymore to remember to be brave. Because I have spent the last 6 months being brave every day. The reminder to be brave is engraved in my heart now; I no longer need it on my finger.

                When I decided to go on exchange, I knew that it would change me. I knew that I would learn a new language. I knew that I would learn cultural quirks of a culture that was not my own. I knew that I would learn things about myself, like just how much I am capable of. But I never expected to see changes in myself so quickly. In the past 6 months, I have done more things that scare me than I can count. I’ve tried to order food at restaurants even though I have no idea how. I’ve asked questions with the worst grammar I’ve ever heard to my classmates because that’s all I can do. I’ve introduced myself to the entire school in Turkish. I’ve become brave.

Usually, I am not doing the big, scary things here. I just need that bravery that makes me try again, no matter how many times I've failed before.

There hasn't been a single day I've been here that I wasn't scared about doing something. But the  fact that I did those things anyway is what has made me brave all these days.

Every single person is brave because life requires it.

What I've Learned About Success

          I've decided to do something a little different for the month of March on this blog. I am going to make a series of post entitled "What I've Learned About . . ." with each one being about the lessons I've learned on a different subject. I am not sure exactly how many posts I will have, but it will be more than my normal once a week. Prepare for a slight onslaught of posts coming from me. So without further ado, my first post about how the meaning of success has changed for me during my time here.

                Before I came here, I measured my success by the grades I got in school or the time I got in a race. Getting straight A’s meant I had succeeded that semester, getting the best grade on a test made me far happier than it should, getting my best time in a race was all it took for me to have a great day.

                But once I came here, I didn’t have those same things to measure my success by. My grades were obviously going to be terrible; how do you do well in a class when you don’t understand the language it is taught in? I no longer had my race times to go out and try to beat every weekend.

                So I had to find a new way to measure success. I measure my success day by day. Some days the goals are easy little things. Learn a new word, make someone smile, figure out what the heck I’m actually eating. But some days reaching my goal for the day, finding my success that day is the hardest possible thing I can imagine. Make it through this day without crying, don’t draw the attention of the girl who bullies you in your class, don’t give up on this whole exchange, this whole life. On those days, my success feels even better. Because I didn’t give up, I didn’t cry.

                And I think that’s what success is. It’s not being the person who makes the most money; it’s being the person who is the happiest. It’s not about being the absolute best at something; it’s about continuing to try, even when giving up would be so much easier. Success is being a good person, one who inspires other people to not give up. It’s about being someone else’s strength, even when you have none of your own left. It’s about smiling when you are about to cry, and laughing with the people who make fun of you.

                It’s about enjoying the little things that make up the big successes in your life. There have been so many times during my time here that I’ve wanted to give up, that it would have been so easy to just quit and go home. And every day that I stay here when I feel like leaving is a success. Every day that I learn a new word, make someone laugh, use that new grammar concept I’ve been working on' that makes that day a success. This has become my definition of success.

                Success is being the person who keeps working and working at that thing, forever if they have to. It’s about never giving up and never staying down for long. It’s about proving everyone who ever doubted you wrong.

                And sometimes when I think of my time here, I think I’ve been a failure. That I’ve accomplished nothing.

                But if I measure my time by not giving up and by trying even when it’s awful, then this year has been a success and I have been a success.

                Take a minute, step back, and think. Sometimes all it takes is a change in perspective to realize just how successful you are.