What I've Learned About Bravery

          Whenever I told people that I was going to study abroad at home, they would always tell me how brave I was. And I never understood that. I didn’t feel like what I was doing was brave; it was just different. They would say, “I could never be that brave.” And all I could think was that anyone can do what I’m doing if they wanted to.

                When I think of bravery, I think of the soldiers who fight wars for us knowing that they could be killed at any moment. I think of kidnapped children finding a way to escape. I think of families who walk hundreds of miles to escape oppressive governments. I even think of people who jump off cliffs into the ocean as being brave. But I never thought of myself as brave. I wasn’t putting my life at risk; I wasn’t in a dangerous situation. But now that I’m here, I realize that I was brave to do this. Living in the US was like standing at the edge of that cliff forever, and when I got on that plane to fly to Turkey, I jumped off the cliff. But the difference was that I didn’t know what was waiting for me at the bottom. I didn’t know whether there would be friendly people and beautiful views or a hellhole that I would have to live in. I jumped off that cliff knowing that what was waiting for me at the bottom might not be very nice, but I still jumped.

                I went to Prep for 5 years before I came to Turkey. And at least twice a week at Prep, we would have assemblies. Never once, in 5 years worth of assemblies, did I speak to the school. I stood up there a few times while other people talked, but I was always too scared to address the whole school by myself. In October, after less than 2 weeks of school in Turkey, I made a short speech to the entire student body and all the teachers in Turkish. I barely knew any Turkish but I did it anyways. 5 years and I couldn’t make an announcement in my native language, and 2 weeks go by and I had made one in Turkish. I realized during that that choosing to go on exchange isn’t brave in and of itself. But being on exchange makes you brave. You talk to the mean girls even when they laugh at the way you talk and you don’t let it bother you. You try to answer questions even when you have no idea what they asked. You get up in front of the entire school and introduce yourself in Turkish. When everything has already changed so much around you, you have no choice but to be brave. Even if you are scared to speak because everyone laughs when you do, you still have to or you will never learn. And that is true bravery.

                For my birthday last year, my grandfather gave me a ring that said courage on it. I immediately fell in love with it, because with my departure looming on the horizons and nerves sneaking in, I sometimes needed a little reminder to be brave. I wore it almost every day for the whole summer and whenever I would get nervous, I would look down and see “courage” written on it and it was the reminder I needed to be brave. And when I got on the plane to leave home, it was on my finger, there for me to look at when I needed a reassurance. And when I got up in front of my whole school to stumble along in my introduction, it was there.

                But I don’t have to wear it anymore to remember to be brave. Because I have spent the last 6 months being brave every day. The reminder to be brave is engraved in my heart now; I no longer need it on my finger.

                When I decided to go on exchange, I knew that it would change me. I knew that I would learn a new language. I knew that I would learn cultural quirks of a culture that was not my own. I knew that I would learn things about myself, like just how much I am capable of. But I never expected to see changes in myself so quickly. In the past 6 months, I have done more things that scare me than I can count. I’ve tried to order food at restaurants even though I have no idea how. I’ve asked questions with the worst grammar I’ve ever heard to my classmates because that’s all I can do. I’ve introduced myself to the entire school in Turkish. I’ve become brave.

Usually, I am not doing the big, scary things here. I just need that bravery that makes me try again, no matter how many times I've failed before.

There hasn't been a single day I've been here that I wasn't scared about doing something. But the  fact that I did those things anyway is what has made me brave all these days.

Every single person is brave because life requires it.